


Checkmate

by ovijiaboardz



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Affection, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Baggage, F/F, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Identity, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Introspection, Kissing, Memories, POV First Person, Saihara Shuichi is mentioned, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Useless Lesbians, once - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 23:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ovijiaboardz/pseuds/ovijiaboardz
Summary: After an incident from the local casino, Celeste’s bottled up self-loathing rears it’s ugly head. She tries to keep it hidden from Kirigiri, but it’s never that easy.Nothing gets past an ultimate detective.





	Checkmate

**Author's Note:**

> In case you couldn’t tell, this is told from Celeste’s POV

I felt filthy, the tiny hand mirror trembling in my fingers. The girl staring back at me looked disheveled, her makeup was running and her  _ fake _ hair was fluffed in unkempt tuffs here and there. I gave it a fake smile but it trembled. Dear, I was always able to keep my composure in the casinos. Why couldn’t I do so here?

I smiled bigger, and it was so damn phony.

Just like the man who had left the casino with a smile yesterday, only to pull out a gun on me the second I left for the parking lot. He had waited all night only to try and take everything from me. He barked empty threats at me, saying he’d destroy my family — so what? It was then I stopped taking him seriously. My family never cared for me, instead they compared and compared me to my successful siblings, ‘oh Taeko why can’t you be more like Seiko, god you’re an embarrassment; you’re father left because-‘

That was enough. I came from a rich, regal family, Celeste’s family, and Celeste loved them dearly but she was such a skilled liar. She could spot other liars from miles and miles away and he was awful at it. He was a stupid middle class men here to clear out his debt to break his stupid friend out of prison.

I overheard them, too. I heard him talking to his human scum little buddies about how his friend had lost his kids for child neglect and rape charges, and I had been thrilled to go up against him. I couldn’t wait to take away everything from him, I bet bigger than ever and not wanting to seem pathetic (it didn’t work,) he did the same. He bet all his savings like a fool and I swiped them away without looking back, and though I wanted to laugh and laugh I knew better - it was always far more infuriating to hold a precise poker face, to leave your thoughts to their imaginations. He could feel the aura I had, though.

He knew I held no pity and that he had no chance of giving a thing back. His friend would be trapped in prison just as they deserved. I’m not righteous, and I never want to tell myself I gamble for justice because that’s the biggest play on my feelings ever. I don’t gamble for righteousness but that felt good.

I gamble for the thrill and high I get from it, and I’m not afraid to admit that to myself. I’m well aware that there are many others like me who do the same thing, and that’s why everyone challenges me and everyone is let down so much to the point where I end up with a gun pointed to me or a manager asking if I cheated, rolling their eyes because they know I’m not and simply don’t want to be sued.

I’m not ashamed of my title as the ultimate gambler, queen of liars. I’m quite proud of it, really. While it’s been troublesome at times and worries Kyoko to no end, I assure her it’s alright. I am alright, too. I’ve only been ‘arrested’ five times this month, but it’s never something that I can lie, pay or slip my way out of. Kirigiri has accepted it’s something I’m never going to give up and she’s come to terms with my dangerous hobby I frequent like it’s my job.

She’s got dangerous work, too. She specializes in murder cases, but she always assures me she’s strong enough to fight her way out of scary situations. I still worry about her every night. She’s the one who’s made my world happier, the only one keeping me sane. I love her with all my heart and if anything happened, I’d be lost. Perhaps my attachment is pathetic, but after my beloved feline, Grand Bois Cherí Ludenberg, she’s the first person who’s shown me love and the beautiful things in life. I haven’t become a queen yet, as I dream, but she’s made me feel greater than one so naturally I provide her with honest affection from the proclaimed queen of liars, and bring joy to her life.

I suppose her worries are justified, after all.

Yesterday, though, he didn’t stop there. He followed me in his broken down car because he surely must’ve cared about his stupid, deadbeat friend that much, but then again, I suppose I’m not so different. I’d do anything for my dreams, and go to extremes. If I was Taeko, I’d be just as lowly and just as pathetic. Taeko reached higher than she was capable, being a mere peasant without luck and lies to climb her way to the talk.

He was too stupid to understand any of it, though, and that’s what set us apart. I refuse to think even for a second that I could be on such a level. No way.

Eventually, I had to admit defeat and call the police. Just like always, the first person those damn fools had reported to was Kirigiri, just like she’s arranged. He was cornered and put in cuffs immediately, and I drove past him to see it happen. He looked at me with the most bitter, piercing eyes I’ve ever seen in my life and he looked at me like I was scum. The exact same look that I’ve received - not only in real life but the look that it felt as if everyone around me held, whether they did or didn’t, to Taeko Yasuhiro and I stared at him blankly.

Now, just like him, my utter self loathing had managed to creep back in and I didn’t feel like her. I didn’t feel like the queen of liars, Celestia Ludenberg in her glory. I felt filthy and incompetent, undeserving of everything, everything. I have no idea where it came from - did that damn fool really stir this up? Was some pitiful encounter enough to set me off? Taeko is so weak and I hate her.

I hate that I am her. I wanted to do bad things to her, to harm her through and though, oh how I cursed her birth and existence in and of itself. I had sworn to Kirigiri I’d take better care of myself. But the urge was crawling back and I could hardly resist. I wanted to see her bleed, burn, anything. Anything.

I want to kill Taeko forever so she couldn’t trouble Celestia Ludenberg. They were two separations, and I couldn’t harm her. But I wanted to so badly.

“Celes-San,” the gentle yet assertive voice I immediately recognized as Kirigiri’s spoke. “Are you alright? You look as if you’re on the verge of a mental breakdown.”

Damn her detective skills. Let me suffer in peace, you lavender-haired demon. I don’t deserve your kindness. Go away go away go awaygoaway-

“I’m fine,” I snapped, my accent gone. Shit. Now I’ve really done it. I hate it when I’m in enough agony that even my lying grows poor. “I’m fine,” I repeated, pitching my voice. “I’m alright, Kirigiri-san.”

“It doesn’t seem like you are. You’re repeating yourself, probably in hopes that if you repeat it enough you’ll be able to fool yourself,” she guessed. “You don’t feel deserving of my help, and while you probably would like to be left alone, I fear that you may do… harmful things to yourself.”

She was so direct when she spoke, telling me how I felt the same way she’d speak when examining a crime scene. I turned around and frowned. “So what if you’re correct? There can’t be anything you can do.”

“I’m not going to leave,” she insisted. “There’s a case they want me at, but it’s small and it can wait - that, or they’ll find someone else. It’ll give the newcomers a chance to solve a case. There’s a new boy, Saihara, that they’ve been training. Perhaps they’ve give him a job.”

“No, you can’t do that!” I hissed. “If you do, then you’re wasting your time when I don’t deserve it at all!”

She gave me a smug grin. “I can and I just did,” she stated. “So there’s nothing you can do. Game over, Celeste. I’m going to spend the night with you.”

I wanted to snap at her again, but I stopped myself. “Fine, it appears I’ve lost. God, it’s been too long since I’ve been forced to utter those words… they hang heavy around my neck,” I said, semi-sarcastically.

“Celeste, you damn drama queen of liars,” she joked. “Come here.” She held me tightly in a hug. A few seconds later, I tightly hugged her back.

“Ah, it’s just… when I’ve lost, I don’t like it when things drag on…” I murmured, my voice cracking. “Heh, I suppose I needed to spend some more time with you… you’ve been gone for a long time and so have I and I’ve just really missed you and -”

My sentence was cut off as her lips collided with mine, and she kissed me, every lie dissolving under her soft lips. After what felt like a blissful eternity, we pulled apart, both out of breath. 

I tried to speak again, but she stopped me. “Celeste, I want you to listen,” she said, and I couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous she was, from her pink, heated cheeks to her striking violet eyes that I could just lose myself in for hours. I could tell she was about to give me one of her intense speeches where she’d go on a long tangent on why she loved me, backing it up with evidence and citations. Kirigiri did that - she expressed her love with the same certainty that she’d use to condemn criminals - only in this scenario, it was so much sweeter for the one on the receiving end, me. I couldn’t help but realize how damn lucky I was to have this wonderful girl in my life.

“First of all, Celeste, you’re my girlfriend. Therefore, it is merely my duty to remind you how deserving you are of my love and affection. I’m in love with you Celestia, and I can prove it with the ruby engagement ring on your finger,” she declared, lifting my hand and pointing to the beautiful engagement ring she had brought me. (I got her an amethyst one - it suits her well.) “Besides,” she continued, “You're nowhere near as bad as you claim to be. Yes, everyone had flaws, but I love even the parts of you you would consider to be the ugliest and most undeserving. Even Taeko Yasuhiro. She’s a part of you, whether you like it or not, and I love you, Celeste. I love you, Taeko. It hurts me to see you hate yourself like this, when in my eyes, you’re the best, most beautiful, most perfect, most loving, smartest, fun, and incredible girlfriend anyone could ask for. Also, if anyone has ever told you and ever does tell you otherwise - tell them that I said they’re guilty as charged of being an asshole with poor taste.”

I’ve never heard Kirigiri swear before, so she must be dead serious. I curled up beside her and answered, “I love you too, Kyoko. Everything about you is perfect to me, and I’m happy to spend my time with you.”

She smiled. “We don’t have to do much, tonight. If you want, we could play a game, I could read you that story we’ve gotten into, we could watch a movie - anything you’d like. Tonight, it’s all about you, Celeste.”

I thought for a moment, then smiled wickedly. I had a brilliant idea. “We can do anything I’d like?” I repeated, looking to her for confirmation.

She paused. “Within the law, yes,” she answered finally. 

“Alright, then it looks like I finally get to dress you as a Victorian princess!” I announced, grinning at the detective with an expression that was a mixture of smug and affectionate. “I hope you’re ready, because soon you’ll look as if you were pulled straight out of a vampire fantasy!”

She raised her eyebrows. “Looks as if I don’t have much of a choice,” she chuckled. “Alright, just this once. I mean, it could’ve been worse.”

This was going to be a  _ long _ night.


End file.
